A Gift: Perhaps

8:26 PM Beatriz Jardenico 0 Comments


"...and at that moment I caught  a glimpse of long fiery locks. Ones that reminded me of fire that blazed brightly in the dark. But then his face told something else, he had no anger but only emptiness. It was hard to believe when he looked exquisitely beautiful against the window. He was wandering, his eyes searching for something left unseen to my eyes. To be in the same presence as him, it was indescribable. He looked like a perfect addition to my book, I was already drafting a character, although I stopped. Why you ask? He was  indeed perfect to me, but it didn't feel right. He looked too perfectly broken and I... I couldn't bring myself to write his sorrows. No words could possibly express what he's been through." - S. Rose 



This entry is my personal gift for someone living with my friend Nix. He has been grumpy (and still is) but it's his birthday so I decided that this year would be the perfect time to finally post this. I had been wanting to write a story with Nix' characters for the longest time, but I never felt ready until now. In particular, there's two characters that have always piqued my interest and this year, both of them are in a stage where they need a good slap wake up call straight to the face. Therefore, this is a message for the Stars that went Wild. I didn't want to make it too lengthy, so don't expect intense adjectives or too much extreme detail with descriptions. (Although I would have preferred doing that) I did not want to drag this on for too long, so have this oneshot thing. Happy reading! 

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"Hurry up, the guest will be here soon." he said bluntly, calling out from the wooden door in hopes of receiving a response from the one residing inside. He had been waiting for quite a while now, thirty minutes to be exact, and he's been far too kind with his time extension. 

"Five more minutes!" a voice called back. 

"That's what you said five minutes ago, Di." he answered back. 

"She isn't even back yet. They're probably stuck in traffic!" 

He let out an exasperated sigh. "Look Di, I didn't want to do this but Bell asked me to bring you down. You're the only one who isn't ready yet-"

"Done!" 

The door swung open, cutting him off mid-sentence as he stepped back in surprise. A woman dressed in cream stood by the door frame, her dress filled with rose patterns as she wore tullip-colored heels to match. She stood there, looking at the man whose face she almost slammed the door with. There was a lingering smile on her newly glossed lips, a kind of fondness that was all too familiar to him.

"Honestly Starr, you didn't have to wait. I told you, five minutes right?" 

He looked back at her, his expression blank, earning a chuckle. "Come now, dear. Don't be a sour puss. Wouldn't want to scare the guest, after all."  She walked towards him, her lips finding his cheek for a quick peck before she grabbed him by the arm and half-dragged him downstairs. 

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He didn't know how he ended up in this situation. This wasn't part of Starr's things to do for today. When it was announced that a guest was coming over, that didn't seem like much of a problem. It was supposed to be a simple day. He would meet the guest, exchange hi's and hello's, small chitchat and then he would be back to his room. That's what he foresaw, that was what he usually expected. Sitting in the garden with a stranger and talking over coffee wasn't exactly in his list for today. They had been talking for a while, much longer than what Starr initially anticipated. He was never this comfortable with new people, everyone knew that; which made the situation kind of ironic. Yet he was here, casually talking to his supposed to be new "friend" and raising his hands to light a cigarette.

"You smoke?" a soft voice inquired, making him pause. 

Of course, he had to polite. 

"Do you mind?" Starr replied, offering a quick glance over their guest. She was looking at him curiously, her hands still glued to the pen and notebook she had been holding the moment they began talking. She was a newcomer in town if Starr recalled, stopping by for a quick visit before wandering off to another place. The introduction amused him to some extent, seeing as though he also knew someone who used to do the same. But this one was different from her, she wasn't loud or energetic. She was calm and spoke only when needed, a complete opposite from the person he got used to. It made her look elegant though, that's what Starr thought.  

"No. It's alright." 

With a flick from his lighter, small puffs of smoke began to escape the end of the cigarette. He took a whiff before shutting the tool with a soft clink, placing it on the table as he settled against his chair. 

"So, you live with Nix's friend?" 

"Yes. She wanted to come but some things came up, so she sent me instead." 

Come to think of it, he didn't know why she was here to begin with. 

"If you don't mind, why did you suddenly decide to visit Nix?" 

The girl paused for a moment before offering a small smile. "Bea asked me to pass an important message."

Starr perked up at her response. A message? He pulled the cigarette away from his lips, offering his full attention to the girl as he suddenly felt interested. Knowing Bea, the message could either annoy him or amuse him, and he was willing to play with risks for both. 

"Really... what kind of message?" 

"Have you ever loved, Mr. Quira?" 

The question caught him off guard, making him drop his nearly finished stick to the ground. His once relaxed face hardened, his expression guarded as he looked toward the woman sitting across from him. Starr didn't like to talk about his past, and he most definitely didn't like talking about it with someone he barely knew. But she didn't appear to be asking him because she was curious, her eyes were telling him otherwise. He couldn't decipher the reason behind her question, but the rockstar knew he had the final say.

"Why are you asking?" Starr snapped, unable to hide the displeasure in his voice. She didn't seem to be fazed by it however, as the young woman only went on; lowering her eyes to her notebook as she began to move her pen.

"Love is a powerful thing, isn't it?" she began. "It can make beautiful things, make you feel emotions you never expected to possess." 

He observed her movements, keeping his silence as she kept talking. "But it's also painful isn't it, this Love. It makes you doubt many things about yourself and sometimes, it can destroy you." 

"Why are you suddenly-"

"Because you know, Mr. Quira." 

They looked at each other for a long while, searching for any hint that could tell them what the other was thinking. Lavender met hazel in a heated gaze, one that lasted for what seemed to be hours. Starr has gone through a lot, his current family knows this and probably a selected few from Nix's circle of friends. It has left him wounded, hurt and broken. It was a difficult time in his life, and he never liked bringing it up. To have this stranger expose him so openly, it frustrated him, angered him. Yet, when he looked into her eyes, she didn't seem to be attacking him.  It looked like she was pleading. Pleading for what?

"Is this the message you were asked to give?" Starr murmured, breaking away from the gentle eyes that stayed locked to his direction.

"No." she replied softly, putting her notebook down as she slowly got up from her seat. "But I'm sure you'd like to know what it is, right?" 

Raising his head, Starr saw that she was standing near the pathway with her hands clasped together in front of her, a quiet invitation for a walk. He felt confused at this point, but he found himself following her anyway, leaving behind his silver lighter on the table with her notebook. They walked around the small garden for a while, taking comfort in the silence and the serenity of their surroundings. It was then, the young woman stopped at the clear space in the middle of the garden, looking up at the clouds that filled the fair day. 

"Losing someone you love is a difficult thing to accept, isn't it?" 

He stopped on his tracks, standing beside her as he looked up to the clouds as well. 

"Yes." 

"But they're never truly gone. They're still with us, within our hearts and in our memories." She lowered her head, staring at the fine grass that grew beneath her shoes. 

"I have lost three important people to me. They all left too soon and too quickly." For a moment, Starr felt sympathetic towards her, but from the way she talked, she didn't sound like she wanted his pity. He turned his head towards her as she continued on with her tale.

"When my parents died I had only one friend. He was everything to me, he was the only family I had left after the accident. I believed that he would be with me forever, but fate decided otherwise." 

"What happened?" 

"He was sick and he never told me. When I knew, he was already dying on his bed. I couldn't do anything for him except hold his hand and stay beside him."

She looked at Starr, offering him a gentle smile. "After that day I thought to myself, why do I keep losing the people I love most? Was it punishment? I didn't know. But after losing the only family I had left, I felt like the world was telling me I was undeserving for any kind love." 

The last few words stung him and he found himself looking away to the ground. He knew what that felt like, in fact, that's exactly how he felt. He had lost two people that he loved more than his own life. When he was at the peak of his happiness, it was when the incidents happened and it ruined him. No one could truly understand the pain he endured, except probably those who had undergone the same experience. Losing something you care about was not the same as losing your favorite toy. Toys could be replaced, but to the people whom you loved, there was nothing on earth that could take their place. 

Starr was at loss for words at this point, he didn't expect someone like her to have shared the same experience as him. She looked far too happy, contented even. It was hard to believe she had to deal with a difficult childhood. 

"But you know Mr. Quira, I realized something." 

"What?" he asked. 

"Love is never truly gone. We will lose it but we will find it again." The rockstar perked up when she moved, raising his head to see her standing in front of him. She brought her hand up, pointing to her chest where her heart would be. "This is a very strong tool that we have. It hasn't given up, so you shouldn't give up on it. When we love, it makes us do ridiculous things. But sometimes, we need to say it clearly to get our feelings across." 

Starr shook his head slightly, letting out a sigh. "There's no point if it's one-sided..."

"How do you know that? Have you ever asked her?" 

At that moment, Starr felt his face burn in embarrassment. He quickly looked away, raising a hand to cover his face. He felt very uncool, but he suddenly paused when he realized something. She knows? How could she know?

"How did you know about me and Diva?"

"I didn't." 

No way. He just sold himself out. 

"Ah, shit. Look, there's nothing going on between me and Diva. We're just... friends..." 

A soft chuckle broke through the silence. "What?"

"I'm sure what you feel for Miss Wilde is something much more stronger than that, because it seems that Miss Wilde also feels the same with you." 

"That's not possible."

"It is. Both of you are just running away from it." 

She saw that she hit the mark with the way his face hardened at her response. Starr didn't respond and only kept quiet, unable to find the right words to explain himself. It wasn't like he could, he couldn't even figure out his own feelings. Bea was right, both of them really do need help. She took a deep breath, slowly approaching Starr as she placed a hand on his shoulder. 

"Mr. Quira, she will never know what you truly feel if you continue to run away. You shouldn't fear, because in every end comes a new beginning and this could be yours. Just listen-"

"Sara! Starr! You guys here?" a voice yelled. 

The two of them looked toward the source of the sound. A tall familiar figure stood at the entrance of the pathway, he had short fiery orange hair and sported an athletic set of clothes, ones that were used for basketball. Before she could call out to him, Tissara was cut off. 

"We're here!" Starr said loudly, immediately taking the figure's attention. He jogged over to them, beads of sweat still present on his face which made it clear he had just finished a day's workout.

"There you guys are! You must be Sara. Hey, I'm Vice." he greeted with a smile, offering his hand for a handshake. 

"Hello, it's nice to meet you Mr. Monroe. Nix has told me all about you." the young woman took hold of his hand and politely shook hands with him.

"Don't be too formal! Call me Vice, and I hope she told you good things! I see you've got Starr to like you. He's kind of hard to please." 

Starr let out a grunt. "You're talking about Rose, Aniki." 

"Haha! Are you guys hungry? Because Bell just finished making snacks and asked me to come get you guys." 

Tissara stepped forward first, giving Vice a smile as she joined him. "Snacks sounds good. I'd love to taste Bell's food." 

The three of them quietly walked back to the house, with Vice leading the little group. They stopped over the table where Tissara had left her things, stopping by to allow her to gather the items. 

"You don't have to wait for me, both of you can go ahead. I'll be quick." she said, picking up her notebook. 

"We can't just leave you here, Sara. Don't worry, it's no trouble." Vice assured her. 

"...It's fine. Aniki. I'll stay with her, you can go ahead. You still need to get changed." 

The two looked over at Starr in surprise, and then looked at each other confused. "Well... if Starr's with you it should be okay. Make it quick! I want to hear all about your travels, Sara!" 

With a wave, Vice headed toward the house first, a soft thud following behind him as he closed the door. As he disappeared from sight, Tissara was brought back to her current situation with Starr. She didn't know why he offered to stay with her as she gathered her things, but she went along with it.  She was disappointed that her conversation with Starr was cut short, but she could only hope that she got Bea's message through. After all, they were both worried for him and neither of them wanted to see him hurt. It has to end and he needed to decide for himself, because both he and Diva couldn't run away from this forever. A decision must be made, and they both needed to set things straight once and for all.Sliding her pen to the side pocket, she held her notebook close to her chest with both hands as she turned toward Starr, who stood across her with his hands in his pockets. 

"I'm done. Let's head back?" 

Silence. 

"Mr. Quira...?"

"About me and Di... Do you really think that, me and her would..." Starr trailed off, avoiding Tissara's gaze. The novelist was taken aback by his sudden question, but she smiled. Maybe it got through.

Looking over the table, Tissara took the silver lighter into her hand and approached her troubled friend. She gently pulled his hand from his pocket and placed his lighter on his palm, softly whispering, "That is the message."

She let go of his hand, slowly walking ahead with her back faced towards him. Starr looked at his lighter for a moment, moving the shiny material against the light. He assumed that her silence meant no, not that he was surprised. Why would Diva choose him-

"Mr. Quira!" 

His head snapped back at the sound of his name. Tissara was looking back at him, smiling. 

"Perhaps." 

It took a moment for him to process what she meant, but he got it and when he did, he offered one of his rare smiles. The corners of his lips were curved upwards, and that was close to a smile as Starr could get, so it counted; according to him anyway. 

"I chose not to add him in my story because I didn't need to. He was a character in his own story, one that he was still writing. To be part of his tale is already an honor for me, because he is a completely different character of his own. One that I couldn't put into a story, because only he knew the words to this tale." - S. Rose


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Happy Birthday Steven Quira!


-From Tissara and Bea




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